Now that I am back home from my college town, I have thinking frequently about identity formation and the myriad of ways that we develop our sense of identity. Being from two different cultures, and various subcultures within those two, and additionally being American I have a lot of questions for myself regarding these matters.
Within my internal mind, there is a perpetual state of pretending or playing a role at times. Within a lot of people my age (18-22), we assume somewhat assigned identities from family and culture and with these inherent ideas along with outside influences such as social media and peers, we try out different identities and experiment with all factors. When does the pretending or role-playing cease and we can assume our true selves? Are we destined to continue to play roles or do we adopt one or few eventually and believe it to be ever-present? Are we continuously evolving? Really, what is identity?
I think of identity in multiple ways, but the one that is burgeoning in my mind currently is the idea that it is a mechanism buried inside of us based on surrounding environment, family, and how we make decisions based on those parameters. It affects the decisions that I make most certainly, things that I study or am passionate about and I believe it will definitely shape the career I will eventually have. What I am curious about, is how my identity has formed and what shapes culture, behavior and these passions in the first place. Within the context of my own cultural foundation and formation, I come from backgrounds of Polish, Irish, Filipino, Chinese and American heritage. With all of these underlying heritage constructs I find myself gravitating towards certain ties at different times and they sometimes conglomerate and conflict too. With this inner conflict both self induced and pressured within myself, I constantly ask myself the question: Are identities assigned to us by others or are they inherently expressive of our hearts deepest desires of expression?
Do we truly love and connect to the food, spice level, music and behavioral traits we inherit from our ancestors and families, or are they signals for our shared senses of belonging? With this implication, I certainly feel the constraints of the word “belonging.” Being from multiple cultures and from America makes the word belonging almost a concept I have to create for myself. And in our rapidly globalizing world, cultures continue to meld, shape and bend to the homogeneity created by trade, migration, assimilation and cultural expansion. While I hold dear in my heart certain foods, music, language and behaviors taught to me, I also appreciate and “adopt” those of other cultures. The importance of our told culture extends into the concepts and constructs of globalization and how those are incorporated into our life as well. If I for instance am cooking Chinese food as a biracial individual, does that make the food authentic? If I am a product of “hybridization” can I participate in multiple cultures at a time authentically and be accepted as well? If we are born into a culture, and grow up with its principles, set or absorbed, does this make us cultural authorities? If so, what are the lines drawn and are there lines at all?
These questions further shape my identity because inherently, these answers will most likely be open ended and burgeon into behaviors and paths that I will take to improve my own life and hopefully improve others on my journey to make change, whatever that may look like. I truly believe, when you free your mind, your heart will follow. In this context, freeing my mind of the pressure that I have to behave or choose a certain path based on my cultural identities will allow my heart to beat in whichever direction it would like to go. And while these questions and my cultural and identity formation may confuse and cause me pain, this untethered feeling can translate to a new tether, a new opportunity or a new journey!
continuing to think of these…..